Month: August 2016

The Top Ten Other Names The Lake Erie Monsters Were Considering Before Becoming The Cleveland Monsters

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The 2015 Calder Cup Champion Lake Erie Monsters are now the Cleveland Monsters.  I don’t like it.  In a sport as superstitious as hockey, how do you change your name when there are players who probably haven’t changed their socks since winning the cup?

“Lake Erie” is a name the entire area can get behind.  Think of the Texas Rangers or the New England Patriots.  Sure, everyone is behind the Browns, the Cavaliers, and the Indians, because we are the greatest fans on the planet, but, changing from “Lake Erie” to “Cleveland” takes away some of that recognition.  The team goes from belonging to the North Coast, to another Cleveland team, largely supported by the suburbs. Continue reading →

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Josie’s Whale

My Weird West Creature Feature.  An attempt at a Chuck Wendig terribleminds flash fiction challenge I mentioned earlier.

The corpse of the land whale lay on her side, her head craned back with a look of terror still on her wide, protruding face.  Her eyes bulged.  Her four nostril flaps flared open.  Her lips grimaced revealing the stubby teeth she used to grind the grasses and plants of Homestead’s southern plains region.

The evolutionary result of an ancient creature getting curious, crawling out of Homestead’s sea, liking what he found and adapting, the land whale would have stood seven feet tall at the shoulder, had her belly not been ripped open from throat to pelvis, bisecting several pairs of udders along the way.

Continue reading →

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Half of a Top Ten List

Cultural Reminiscing of Late Twentieth Century Television, with Practical Applications You Can Try at Home!

I always thought one of the most brilliant bits of television comedy writing over the past few decades was David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists.  The Top Ten List was a nightly feature on both Late Night with David Letterman, and The Late Show with David Letterman, after Dave made the jump from NBC to CBS.

The Top Ten List was a nightly ritual.  The first commercial break would end, and a long camera shot from the audience would center on Paul Schaffer and the World’s Most Dangerous Band ending a tune mid-measure by holding out whatever note they were playing, while a series of Hammy B3 runs would end with Paul cuing the band to silence.  Sometimes that night’s musical guest would sit in with the band.  A lot of times, David Sanborn would sit in with the band, adding a dizzying array of runs, finishing with a ridiculously high-even-for-an-alto-saxophone note.

I bit through a lot of reeds trying to hit some of those notes. Continue reading →

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