My First #SlapDashSat: 09-08-18

Just trying out new toys I find on the internet.

I found a writing game on Twitter called #SlapDashSat.  You can search the hashtag, or, check out the main page @SlapDashSat.  There is no theme, no rules, just free form writing.  Just whatever happens to cross your mind at the moment.

A lot of what I read reminded me of conversations from a Tarantino movie.  You know what I mean.  The conversations where the characters just seem to be bullshitting to pass the time.  I like Tarantino movies, so, I figured, what the hell.

And then my mind went blank.

I turned to my trusty fortune cookie fortune collection and found this gem:

Always stick around for one more drink. That’s when stuff happens.

I thought of a quick scene.  I’ll admit it: I didn’t go straight to Twitter with my scene.  I roughed it out, did some editing, walked away from it, came back, cut some stuff, rinse and repeat.  I got the scene into a form I liked and went with it.  

Brevity escaped me that day.  Ah, well.  Some people liked it.  That’s cool.  I posted it late in the evening, so, some of the likes didn’t come in until the next Saturday.  That’s cool, too.  I tried it and I liked it and I’ll try it again.  

And I encourage you to check out the game @SlapDashSat.

P.S Wakelet failed me.  If you know of another app to put Twitter post collections into WordPress, please share in the comments.

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Sweet Memories

This started out like a Hallmark movie, but got dark quick. Could easily be an opening scene, maybe even on Hallmark.

Evil Pat was intrigued.

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By Sandy Wilson

‘They’re from the garden dad. We still plant them just like you used to. Around the edge of the patio. Remember?’

It was unlikely he would. Geoffrey Simms had dementia. Slumped in the care home high-backed chair he gasped, dragged air into his lungs. ‘Your mum …’

‘Mum?’ Jenny was six years old when she left. Ran off with another man they said. The fragile fragrance of the sweet peas must have triggered a memory, she thought.

‘Dad, please tell me tell me about my mum.’

‘She’s buried.’

‘Buried? Buried where, Dad?’

‘The patio. I buried her under the patio.’

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Stupid Images That Pop into My Head That Give Me a Laugh: 08-03-18

I keep coming up with the first in a series, but never continue the series.

I’m at work finishing a report when the Security radio channels announces, “That patron has found her Grandmother and they are now leaving through South.”

I don’t know why, —

That’s not true.  It’s because Evil Patrick is constantly waiting in the shadows to pounce on something like this.

— but the image of a woman walking towards the South exit carrying a cremation urn bursts across my imagination.  “I found her.  She was on the smoking patio.  Gramps was using her for an ashtray…”

Oh Grampa, you rascal you.

OK, maybe not that evil, but certainly dark.  It kept me entertained.

My Review of “Discarded,” by Michael J. Allen

In which I learn about Arcs and start to discover maybe stars aren’t for me.

I wrote another book review.  This was an interesting situation.  I received an email describing an opportunity to get an ARC of a book.  I learned that ARC stands for Advanced Review Copy.  Authors and publishers send out ARCs to get reviews before the book is released.

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I answered the email and got a few choices of which book I wanted to read.  I went with “Discarded” by Michael J. Allen, an urban fantasy.

I wasn’t done yet.  I was asked for a link to previous reviews I have written.  I sent them a link to my Goodreads page.  They must have liked what they saw, because a couple of days later, I received my copy of the book.

My apologies to Mr. Allen.  I was able to get the review up in Goodreads and Amazon on August 2nd, but, the book released on July 26th.

More after the review.


Discarded (Dumpstermancer Book 1)Discarded by Michael J. Allen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A main character you won’t soon forget.
The series title, “Dumpstermancer,” alone was enough to make me want to read this e-book. I half expected a comedy, but wasn’t sure. I was intrigued, to say the least.
In a world where you can have a gourmet meal kit delivered, corporate magic seems like the next logical step. Mistakes happen, and the Glamour spell from Thoth is not exempt.
Eli is an engaging character. I’m not sure if I like him, but I definitely won’t forget him anytime soon. A homeless ex-con who was wrongly imprisoned, Eli is brave and has a good heart, but, he is so darn stubborn, I found myself often frustrated with him. And I wasn’t alone. Frustration with Eli’s stubbornness often extends to his allies. Sunny, who runs a homeless shelter, has a heart of gold and the patience of a saint, but, even she reaches her breaking point when it comes to Eli’s nature. I identified most with Kenrith and the Rhett’s, fey rodents and Eli’s would be protectors. On several occasions, the Rhett’s were ready to turn on Eli, and as the reader, I couldn’t say I blamed them.
Don’t get me wrong: Eli is a good character. He’s just so well written, parts of his personality that tick off other characters tend to overflow to the reader. I think that is quite an accomplishment.
Michael J. Allen wrote the book in first person, and I think he did an excellent job. I would have liked more details about the different magics. Too many details about the hows and whys, though, may have come off as an info dump and broke the immersion. I prefer a good story and being left with my own mysteries to solve. The use of magic is very smooth and drives the story.
In short, “Discarded” is a very good read, and I am keeping an eye out for the sequel.
Full disclosure, I received this book as an Advance Review Copy.

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I’m not sure if the star-system of rating books is working well for me.  You may have noticed I give everything I review 5 stars.  If I liked the book, why not give it 5 stars?

I can’t see a reason to give something one star.  If the books not for me, that doesn’t mean it’s bad. And how do you decide between a three-star and a four-star rating?  And what does a two-star rating mean?

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I either like a book or I don’t.  If I don’t, I probably won’t finish the book, and that’s not fair to the author.

I can see a one-star if the book is just horribly written.  I even have one book in mind, that possibly had a good story hidden somewhere underneath all the crap writing.  I have to ask, though, is just giving it a one-star rating helping the author grow, or am I just getting revenge for wasting my time.

If I’m going to keep reviewing books, I’m going to have to discipline myself to finish a book, no matter how much I don’t like it, and then find something constructive to say, not destructive.

And I just re-read what I just wrote, and can’t help but think, “What an arrogant bastard.”

I need to put more thought into this.  Please comment if you have any tips.

My Review of “The Unfortunate Expiration of Mr. David S. Sparks,” by William F. Aicher

I tried my hand at another review.

I’ve noticed I have started reading with a different eye.  A critical eye?  A reviewer’s eye?  Fuck if I know.  More on that later; first, check out the review.


The Unfortunate Expiration of Mr. David S. SparksThe Unfortunate Expiration of Mr. David S. Sparks by William F. Aicher
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A Good Workout for the Brain
I’m glad I read “The Unfortunate Expiration of Mr. David S. Sparks.” It’s good to be reminded that Science Fiction encompasses sciences beyond space exploration.
David S. Sparks is a puzzle of a character. This could have been confusing, but the writing takes you along for the ride with David. The pacing keeps the story moving as the pieces fall in place. The reader may find themselves questioning what is going on, or, what is going to happen next, but never confused to the point of being completely lost.
The world building of future Earth is logical. The setting reminded me of a series that ran on The History Channel called “Life After People.” The reader can tell Earth has changed in a manner that could possibly happen without being smacked over the head by the extremes of a future that is too bright or too dark. A Goldilocks setting that becomes another character.
In short, “The Unfortunate Expiration of Mr. David S. Sparks” is an enjoyable read that is engaging on many levels.

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I seem to be paying attention more as to why I specifically like a book.  I want to be able to say why I like a book, rather than just, “Yeah, I liked it.”

“Why?”

“Uh… Because it was good.”

“Why?”

Cue million-mile stare.

I want to do this right in hopes of someday, somebody will put the effort into something I publish.

Fortunately, so far, I have only had to write reviews of books I like.  Maybe that’s my next challenge: review something I don’t like.  Something to think about.


Review of “Secret” by William F. Aicher

Another quick Goodreads and Amazon review.

It should also be noted that Aicher packs a lot of story into nine pages.


SecretSecret by William F. Aicher
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Well done!

I liked “Secret.” A good, quick read before bed. Not that you’ll be getting any sleep after, but a good read none the less!

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And the good news is, “Secret” is the first in a series of creepy little bedtime stories.

Tales of Karma: May 8th, 2018

For some odd reason, my polling place changed. Whatever, it was only a little bit farther than where I used to go to vote, so no biggie. And besides, the poll is close to Mission BBQ, and any excuse to go to Mission BBQ is valid.

I pull into the lot of my polling place, and all I can think is “same actors, new stage.” Just a bunch of volunteers running around the lot, trying to stuff literature into your hand. When you get inside the door, there is a big barrel full of said literature. What a fucking waste. Maybe if politicians didn’t waste so much cash on literature, they wouldn’t have to accept so many contributions and bribes to run a campaign.

Voting itself was uneventful. I got my ballot, filled it out, and ran it through the scanner in probably less than 7 minutes. Of course, Tuesday is one of my days off during the week, so, your mileage may vary.

As I was leaving the multipurpose room used for voting, I felt my shoe come untied. I steered my way to a folding chair to tie it and was approached by one of the poll workers.

“Excuse me, sir. It seems your right shoe has come untied.”

He reminded me of Justin Wilson, the Cajun cook who used to have a show on PBS. He even had a bit of a southern drawl, not quite Cajun, but close enough for jazz. He entertained me with a story while I retied my shoe.

“I was downtown a couple weeks ago, on jury duty at the Justice Center, when I saw a man with a shoe untied. I mentioned it to him, and he turned on me and gave me a few choice words I can’t use in polite company. He went up a flight of stairs, and wouldn’t you know it, when he got to the top step, he tripped on the shoe lace I warned him about, fell down all 12 steps, and broke his ankle.”

I chuckled. “Good for him. Sounds like karma worked that day.”

“I told him, right before the paramedics arrived, maybe he won’t need that lace anymore if they have to cut the shoe to fix your foot.”

We shared another laugh at the other guy’s expense. I thanked him for brightening my day with his story, shook his hand, and went on my way.

It’s one thing to just ignore somebody and keep walking after an innocuous warning about something like an untied shoelace. But to actually take the time to cuss out somebody, just because they were looking out for you?

I may be tempting karma, but I still can’t help but smile when I think of that story.